From Family Times to Storytime: The Inspiration and Anxiety Behind Reunions
Hey Y’all,
You are probably reading this if you have read my book, Raccoon Reunion. Or maybe you came across a fun graphic I shared on social media and you wanted to learn more about family reunions or stepping outside your comfort zone. Keep reading to see how this introvert/extrovert corralled her whole family for a family reunion.
Terri
“You have to get out of your comfort zone in order to grow.”
“It’s only after you’ve stepped outside your comfort zone that you begin to change, grow, and transform.”
“Fear and anxiety many times indicates that we are moving in a positive direction, out of the safe confines of our comfort zone, and in the direction of our true purpose.”
Did You Know That My Own Family Reunion Inspired Raccoon Reunion?
How it all started…
My immediate family all live near each other near Houston, Texas. Most of my extended family lives up and down the east coast. Over the years, I am very lucky in that I have taken many road trips designed to visit as many family and friends as possible. It might be 3 weeks, 5000 miles, and 20 people. Or longer and more people. My 20-year-old 4Runner does have 300,000 miles on it, many because of my many road trips.
I noticed that most of that extended family usually don’t see many family members beyond their immediate family. When many family members gathered at the funeral of my Uncle David, who was killed on his motorcycle in 2015, I said that we should all see each other more often than weddings and funerals. And so the idea of a family reunion began.
Picking when was easy (summer since so many of the younger generation were in school). Then it was getting everyone to agree on where and what. It was a bit like herding cats. No one particularly wanted to take the lead in planning. I said I would if we did something easy like a cruise. Easy because the itinerary is planned, the food is bought and prepared by someone else, lodging is easy, and everyone pays the cruise line directly, so keeping track of money.
The cruise line (my favorite- Royal Caribbean) was chosen and the destination was picked (Alaska) because it’s usually a bucket list for people. When it came time to book it, people suddenly wanted something closer and cheaper. So a shorter and cheaper itinerary cruise out of Baltimore, Maryland was chosen since most the people could drive there to save on airline costs. Then when it came time to book that, people then suggested an all-inclusive resort on land instead. After seeing how much more expensive that was over a cruise, then it was decided to switch to a hotel with apartment-type room including bedrooms and kitchens, and we would all take turns hosting meals. When it came time to booking that, people still wanted something else.
I ended up talking one cousin into being the host house (several acres with a pool and centrally located on the east coast). Everyone else was responsible for their own hotel room and getting to my cousin’s house each morning. I ended up meal planning and shopping for all of the food (what I was trying to avoid in the beginning), but different groups took turns prepping the food for each meal.
After Covid delayed our 2020 reunion (it took 5 years to go through all of the other options), we finally had our 3 day reunion in July 2021. A few of us arrived early and did some extra activities in the area (boating, Norfolk). There ended up being about 20 people. Originally, there was going to be around 30.
That family reunion took 6 years to happen. In that time, there were more deaths. We haven’t had another reunion. Since then, some kids have gone off to college, there’s been divorce, and several have moved. If someone else steps up to plan one, I would love to attend.
Angel Family Reunion July 2021
How did a family reunion turn into a book?
In 2019, I toyed around with the idea of writing a book about family reunions. Though I wanted to write it before the family reunion so none of my relatives thought it was about them. I knew I wanted it to have animals instead of people and had it narrowed down to a few options. One cousin helped me settle on raccoons because I love alliteration. Raccoon Reunion rolls off the tongue.
I ended up writing the first manuscript in February 2020, 4 months before the scheduled reunion.
How did I come up with the games in the book?
I researched activities that raccoons like. Eating eggs, swimming, and digging in trash receptacles all came up. I added a 3-legged race and then had my collection of reunion games.
The 4 games in Raccoon Reunion
Rocky’s Shyness and Anxiety and Stepping Outside His Comfort Zone
Books all have some conflict or something the main character needs to overcome. It’s easy to identify with being nervous about trying something new. You also have the fish out of water concept when Rocky, who is a city raccoon, is suddenly in the country, a completely new environment.
His anxiety about being in a new environment with others he doesn’t know prevented him from being open to trying new things. It took an activity that he was confident in (dumpster diving) to give him a voice, help others, and even seek out a cousin who was similar to him (too shy to make friends). Once Rocky and Rascal stepped out of their comfort zone, they both blossomed, bonded, and are already looking forward to learning new things.
New pals, Rocky and Rascal, make plans to hang out again.
Stepping out of your comfort zone opens you up to trying new things, creating new relationships, and introduces you to new interests to explore.
“Each of us must confront our own fears, must come face to face with them. How we handle our fears will determine where we go with the rest of our lives. To experience adventure or to be limited by the fear of it.”
Bravery is stepping out of your comfort zone when you face the possibility of rejection
Rocky could have easily continued to stay quiet when everyone needed help with the dumpster diving activity. He chose to give himself a voice (though starting as a whisper until he built his confidence up) and to help others. Other family members listened to him because they were out of ideas and his ideas made sense and worked. Rocky’s choice not only allowed him to have fun, but taught others something new. He also gained a close friend in his cousin, Rascal.
Rascal is an introvert for the first several games at the reunion. His anxiety and shyness talked him out of participating or attempting to connect with anyone. He came out of his shell when he sees an opportunity to share his talent and help others. His outlook blossoms when everyone listens and welcomes his ideas.
All of Rocky’s family listens to his ideas for the final activity.
My adivce for children with anxiety in a new atmosphere
Most people have been in your shoes before. They have felt like the new person or the outsider. Jumping right in comes easier for some people, but you do you. If you need to take a little more time, that’s okay. Just be open to new experiences and that meeting new people could be fun.
You can also look around to see if anyone else looks as nervous as you. If Rocky and Rascal has noticed each other sooner, they probably would have enjoyed themselves a lot earlier in the reunion.
Helping others (especially if it’s something you are more familiar with) is often a way to find an excuse to start talking to people.
Introvert, Extrovert, Ambivert, or Omnivert… Which Are You?
I had always described myself as an introvert/extrovert, as I mentioned in my introduction. In some scenarios where I am the only new person and everyone else knows each other, I am a complete introvert. I never know how to break into a conversation. Or I’ll have something, but by the time I feel like there’s a long enough pause for me to add it, the conversation topic has already moved on.
However, if everyone is new to each other and we are all in the same boat, I find it easier to make conversation, because everyone probably feels the same as me. If there are just two of us, whether I have a pre-established relationship or not, I find back and forth conversation much easier than with a larger group. It’s easier to find some common interests and talk about that.
If it’s a large group of people where I know everyone well, then I become an extrovert. I’ve hosted many parties and entertained 50-60 people. Conversation flows easily because there’s no shortage of topics.
When researching for this blog, I came across two terms I didn’t know before- ambivert and omnivert. So let’s look at the differences between them all and see which one you are most like? Or does it depend on your situation?
Introverts gain energy from alone time. They prefer smaller groups or one-on-one interactions over larger groups. They usually need alone time to recharge after social activities
Extroverts gain energy from being around people. They prefer larger groups and feel invigorated by social interactions.
Ambiverts have a balance of introverted and extroverted traits. They are comfortable both alone and in social activities. They adapt easily to either.
Omniverts experience going back and forth extreme introversion and extreme extroversion, depending on the circumstances and their mood. While they can be very outgoing and social, they also prefer being alone in other situations. They can switch back and forth between the two extremes inconsistently.
Which one fits you and your personality?
I think I’ll reassign myself from introvert/extrovert to ambivert.
Your Guide to Having Your Own Family Reunion
What are typical family reunions like?
I know several people who have regular family reunions. There is no ‘typical’. It is whatever works for you and your family. Some happen every single year over the same weekend. Since it’s recurring, everyone can plan around it every year. Other happen every other year or maybe every 5 years.
Sometimes, they are held at the same place (someone’s property or a campground like in Raccoon Reunion). I see a lot of family reunions on cruise ships. It allows the whole family to get together at designated times, but you still have opportunities to break off into smaller groups.
The host can rotate, be the same, or it might be a small team that work together for the decision making.
A main goal of family reunions is to strengthen family bonds and create lasting memories. It also gives an opportunity for the older generations to pass down traditions and wisdom to the younger generations.
Family Reunion Games
Family Reunions that are held in an area that has both indoor and outdoor space, can have a variety of games to suit many personalities. There can be team events, individual events, group games, partner games, and quiet time alternatives.
Pool activities: Marco Polo, pool volleyball, lounging, etc.
Yard activities: Corn hole, bocci, horseshoes, croquet, ring toss, kickball, field day events (balloon toss, egg on spoon race, 3-legged race), etc.
Indoor activities: board games, cards, puzzles
Other: Karaoke, talent show
Family Reunion Swag
I’m sure you’ve seen family reunion t-shirts. This is the most common. A new design is usually made with each reunion, often decorated with the year. Other items can include hats, mugs, koozies, and towels. We had towels. I designed them and had a childhood friend (with a craft business) transfer the design on to the towels.
Anxiety and My Biggest Takeaway
After all the prep is done and family members arrive at your reunion, just be in the moment and enjoy. Don’t have expectations, or you need to adjust your expectations and realize that other people might be wanting to experience the reunion in their own way. Don’t let it stress you out if people aren’t focusing on the activities you thought people would want to do. Just concentrate on the connections you are making and building and dive into the fun of weekend.
I hope this has inspired you to either attend a family reunion (if you haven’t before), suggest a reunion (if your family doesn’t have them), or even host a reunion!
